Wednesday, January 26, 2011

an email exchange

My mom knows me like only a mother can know her child. To illustrate, here is our email exchange from earlier today.

Mom wrote:
Subject: belated greeting 
I just realized today that this past Sunday was National Pie Day. Knowing how much you love pie (various kinds), I wanted to apologize for letting such an important holiday go by without acknowledging it. If you were here or I was there, I'd make you a pie for sure!

I replied:
Thank you so much for the belated greeting.  I, too, failed to realize this momentous holiday in a timely fashion. Therefore, I have decided to celebrate it at a later date to be determined -- perhaps this Saturday.
Allow me to take this opportunity, however, to acknowledge another day of note. According to my Food Network desk calendar, today is National Pistachio Day. Additionally, this holiday is of lesser consequence than National Pie Day, but it should be acknowledged and observed nonetheless.
Finally, please mark your calendar for yet another significant day. In addition to being my birthday, March 4th is National Pound Cake Day. The stars must have aligned on the day of my birth, as this could not have been a coincidence. No; it must have been God pre-ordaining my undying love of cake. Please begin your fervent preparations for this Double Holiday with haste, as we have much to celebrate. Cake, of course, will be a necessity on this wondrous occasion. Out of reverence, perhaps we should contemplate making a cake of the pound variety.

Ah, my mother. She knows me too well.

Hey mom, pass the pie, would ya?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

WINNER: who is the target market for this product?

We had four fabulous entries to last week's contest. Here were the entries:

Sarah's top pick was the Good Luck Money Ring.  (Slogan: A ring that actually attracts money!)  It's layered in 24-karat gold elegance! Oh yeah, and one size fits all.

Heather's entry was the Hide & Seek Doll, a creepy Chucky-style doll meant to trick people into thinking you've got extremely quiet, very still munchkin children counting off a game of hide and seek in your corner. They're guaranteed to bring smiles to all they meet!

Breanne gave us this gem: the Jacquard Caftan, which appears to be some sort of wearing apparel. Or perhaps it's a tablecloth or a window treatment; I'm not entirely sure. In any event, it's purported to be figure-flattering and is "perfect for wearing while entertaining guests or simply lounging around the house." And a bonus: It fits sizes 6-24!

Finally, Angela presented us with the Neck Genie Elite. This scientific marvel of a product will help you look years younger in just minutes a day. It appears to be some type of neck exercise apparatus that will rid you of your double chins and neck folds. Also, it comes with an "elegant storage bag." I don't know about you guys, but I'm sold!

I thought about these entries all weekend, and it was very tough to pick a winner. In the end, though, I have to go with the Good Luck Money Ring. Why? Because it's the stupidest product of the entire group. It has literally no function other than to be ridiculous. The Hide & Seek Doll could probably double as a small scare crow. The Jacquard Caftan, while hideous, actually does function to cover up the necessary body parts (and then some!). And while I'm sure the Neck Genie Elite won't actually make my double chin go away, I bet it actually does exercise some of the muscles in that region. The Good Luck Money Ring, though? There's no way it actually attracts money, and it's ugly as sin. There's nothing else you can do with it that's worthwhile. 

Thus...I declare Sarah the winner! Congratulations, Sarah. As first-prize winner, I've decided it's only appropriate to give you the product you picked out! Get ready; very soon, you will be the proud owner of a Good Luck Money Ring! (And a $10 Sonic gift card, just for being a good sport.)

Honorable mention goes to Breanne for the Jacquard Caftan, mostly because I know the meaning of neither jacquard nor caftan. (My best guess is that jacquard means "ugly" and caftan means "tent.") In addition, this product purports to make you look thinner, but it breaks every fashion rule in the book. It's a giant, loud-colored, patterned blanket, and you want me to believe it's figure-flattering? Ha! Congratulations, Breanne. I'm not going to send you a Jacquard Caftan, but I will send you a $10 gift card to the restaurant or retailer of your choice (provided there's a location in Tulsa).

Sarah, Breanne: email your addresses to me at march4th {at} gmail {dot} com to claim your prize!

Heather, Angie: better luck next time. And yes, there will be a next time!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

who is the target market for this product?

And a better question: What other great products do you think we could find at
Let's do a scavenger hunt, shall we? Report back with your findings by leaving a comment. The person who finds the most hilarious product, as determined solely by me, will win a prize (which prize will also be determined solely by me).

**UPDATE: This contest will be open until Friday, January 21, 2011, at 5:00 p.m. CST. Winner will be announced over the weekend. The prize is a secret, but it's gonna be awesome!

Saturday, January 8, 2011