the house hunt

For my first-in-a-long-time update, I thought I might clue you in to the biggest adventure in our lives right now...house hunting.

We've decided we're finally over renting. I personally have decided that I never, ever, ever, ever again want to share a wall with a non-family-member. We've been scraping together a down payment for the last several months, and a few weeks ago, we finally called up a realtor and asked her to help us find our first house.

There have been several candidates so far, but I don't think we're close to making any offers. We have a lot of pretty specific requirements. I want a gas cooktop. Ross needs a non-master bedroom on the ground floor to haul heavy equipment in and out of the house two or three times a week. My small kitchen appliances are red, and I don't want the cabinets or floors to clash. Also frustrating: $150,000 doesn't go very far in Jenks, where we're looking to buy, but move one or two more miles south, and it buys a mansion on several acres. So frustrating!

Here are some houses we're thinking of taking a look at in the next couple of weeks. Advice and suggestions are always welcome!

House #1

House #2

House #3

At least we have a lot of options!

one hundred thousand miles

Here's to 100,000 miles down and another 100,000 to go. I love my car!

designer pet shampoo

Yep. It exists. I think it's safe to say this falls in the "beyond" section at bed bath & beyond.

i've been working

Angie left me a comment letting me know that the people demand updates. Frankly, I didn't know I had people, but who am I to argue?

I've always thought updates would be much easier if people would write in with specific questions because I can never think of what to write. Problem is, nobody wrote in with specific questions. So I decided to make some up. It's make-believe. You know, like on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

What have you been up to since your last update? What's keeping you so busy that you can't muster the time or energy to post?
I've been working.

I work, too. That's no excuse.
Well, I also took a bar exam in February. I thought it would be a good idea to be licensed in two states.

You want to be licensed to practice law in two states? Are you crazy?
I'm not sure yet. The doctor is running some tests.

Did studying for the bar exam really take so much of your time that you couldn't post an update on your blog?
Well, no, because I didn't study nearly as much as I should have. The answer to my family law essay was "Yes." But like I said, I was also working. And we were closing this big deal, and millions of dollars got wired to our client after the papers were signed, and I had to make like nine different versions of 100 different pieces of paper, and it was all pretty crazy.

That sounds serious. Did you get a cut of the money?
Unfortunately, no. And if I had gotten even a 1% cut, I would have quit my job, paid off all my debts, and moved to a remote unnamed island off the coast of Mexico by now. And I would have hired someone to write this blog post two weeks ago.

I still don't believe you haven't had time to write on your blog. What else have you been doing? Have you been compulsively watching X-Files on Netflix streaming?
Yes. I am almost finished with season 7. It's such a great show! I keep wondering why I never watched X-Files when it was actually airing on television.

I heard David Duchovny isn't billed as a main character in seasons 8 and 9 of the X-Files. What kind of crap is that?
I know, right? Without Fox Mulder, seasons 8 and 9 of the X-Files aren't even really the X-Files anymore. I think I'll call them the Y-Files. Or perhaps the Why-Files, as in Why did anybody bother to make this show without David Duchovny in front of the camera week after week?

You are not as clever as you think you are.
I know.

The washing machine just beeped. Shouldn't you go move the laundry to the dryer?
Probably, but the clothes I laundered yesterday are still in the dryer, and I don't want to fold them.

Isn't your husband kind of type-A about stuff like that? And since he's busy making cables for some new electronic toy he bought, don't you think he'll ask you to take care of the laundry in the very near future?
Excellent point. Perhaps I should go to sleep so I'll have a good excuse not to!

Thanks for indulging me in a game of make-believe.

--LW

Untitled

Notice Oklahoma's precipitation forecast during the next 48 hours.

I'm not sure I can take much more of this!

look what i made!

an email exchange

My mom knows me like only a mother can know her child. To illustrate, here is our email exchange from earlier today.

Mom wrote:

Subject: belated greeting 

Leah,

I just realized today that this past Sunday was National Pie Day. Knowing how much you love pie (various kinds), I wanted to apologize for letting such an important holiday go by without acknowledging it. If you were here or I was there, I'd make you a pie for sure!

Love,

Mom

I replied:

Mom,

Thank you so much for the belated greeting.  I, too, failed to realize this momentous holiday in a timely fashion. Therefore, I have decided to celebrate it at a later date to be determined -- perhaps this Saturday.

Allow me to take this opportunity, however, to acknowledge another day of note. According to my Food Network desk calendar, today is National Pistachio Day. Additionally, this holiday is of lesser consequence than National Pie Day, but it should be acknowledged and observed nonetheless.

Finally, please mark your calendar for yet another significant day. In addition to being my birthday, March 4th is National Pound Cake Day. The stars must have aligned on the day of my birth, as this could not have been a coincidence. No; it must have been God pre-ordaining my undying love of cake. Please begin your fervent preparations for this Double Holiday with haste, as we have much to celebrate. Cake, of course, will be a necessity on this wondrous occasion. Out of reverence, perhaps we should contemplate making a cake of the pound variety.

Love,

Leah

Ah, my mother. She knows me too well.

Hey mom, pass the pie, would ya?

WINNER: who is the target market for this product?

We had four fabulous entries to last week's contest. Here were the entries:

Sarah's top pick was the Good Luck Money Ring.  (Slogan: A ring that actually attracts money!)  It's layered in 24-karat gold elegance! Oh yeah, and one size fits all.

Heather's entry was the Hide & Seek Doll, a creepy Chucky-style doll meant to trick people into thinking you've got extremely quiet, very still munchkin children counting off a game of hide and seek in your corner. They're guaranteed to bring smiles to all they meet!

Breanne gave us this gem: the Jacquard Caftan, which appears to be some sort of wearing apparel. Or perhaps it's a tablecloth or a window treatment; I'm not entirely sure. In any event, it's purported to be figure-flattering and is "perfect for wearing while entertaining guests or simply lounging around the house." And a bonus: It fits sizes 6-24!

Finally, Angela presented us with the Neck Genie Elite. This scientific marvel of a product will help you look years younger in just minutes a day. It appears to be some type of neck exercise apparatus that will rid you of your double chins and neck folds. Also, it comes with an "elegant storage bag." I don't know about you guys, but I'm sold!

I thought about these entries all weekend, and it was very tough to pick a winner. In the end, though, I have to go with the Good Luck Money Ring. Why? Because it's the stupidest product of the entire group. It has literally no function other than to be ridiculous. The Hide & Seek Doll could probably double as a small scare crow. The Jacquard Caftan, while hideous, actually does function to cover up the necessary body parts (and then some!). And while I'm sure the Neck Genie Elite won't actually make my double chin go away, I bet it actually does exercise some of the muscles in that region. The Good Luck Money Ring, though? There's no way it actually attracts money, and it's ugly as sin. There's nothing else you can do with it that's worthwhile. 

Thus...I declare Sarah the winner! Congratulations, Sarah. As first-prize winner, I've decided it's only appropriate to give you the product you picked out! Get ready; very soon, you will be the proud owner of a Good Luck Money Ring! (And a $10 Sonic gift card, just for being a good sport.)

Honorable mention goes to Breanne for the Jacquard Caftan, mostly because I know the meaning of neither jacquard nor caftan. (My best guess is that jacquard means "ugly" and caftan means "tent.") In addition, this product purports to make you look thinner, but it breaks every fashion rule in the book. It's a giant, loud-colored, patterned blanket, and you want me to believe it's figure-flattering? Ha! Congratulations, Breanne. I'm not going to send you a Jacquard Caftan, but I will send you a $10 gift card to the restaurant or retailer of your choice (provided there's a location in Tulsa).

Sarah, Breanne: email your addresses to me at march4th {at} gmail {dot} com to claim your prize!

Heather, Angie: better luck next time. And yes, there will be a next time!

who is the target market for this product?

And a better question: What other great products do you think we could find at dreamproductscatalog.com?
Let's do a scavenger hunt, shall we? Report back with your findings by leaving a comment. The person who finds the most hilarious product, as determined solely by me, will win a prize (which prize will also be determined solely by me).
Okay...GO!

**UPDATE: This contest will be open until Friday, January 21, 2011, at 5:00 p.m. CST. Winner will be announced over the weekend. The prize is a secret, but it's gonna be awesome!

the beginning

The View

Just wanted to share with you the view from my new office.